Monday, April 7, 2008

Recipe for a Conspiracy

1) Measure out one recycled provocation--"Sonny Bono Was Murdered"--by "former FBI agent."

2) Mix with supermarket tabloid whose offices were targeted in 2001 anthrax attacks.

3) Trim details that former agent is chronic (and contract) conspiracist who's pushing 80 and retired from FBI nearly 30 years ago.

4) Sprinkle story in non-tabloid, non-U.S. press.

5) Bake for one news cycle until giant game of telephone called the Internet cooks up a better headline:
"Hitmen 'clubbed' Sonny Bono to death, FBI claims."

6) Dig up Sonny's body. Test for anthrax.

7) Serves millions.

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